Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Random thoughts....
Today will be my second last day here as after tomorrow, I will no longer need to step foot into raffles place...unless...im there to meet someone hehe..guess yea this is the end of my chapter here and as i sent out the email to let some of my colleagues and managers know that my last day will be on Friday, some replied with the most sincere of thanks and well wishes. It really touched my heart as I didnt know I was actually appreciate, that ppl like Managers appreciated my help. Perhaps it might be my jaded view of ppl here in general but I suppose it is only when one is leaving then others will speak up to say 'thanks'. Ironic isnt it, that we humans only learn to appreciate what we have only when it's gone. I wonder when will we ever learn...
Entering into a new phase of my working life is a little scary as I have come realise that i'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid to fail...but what Dr Joyce said on sunday made me realise that God loves me...no matter whether i'm a failure or not. And I must know Who I AM in Christ so that even when i do fail...I KNOW that i'm NOT a failure. I don't really know where I get this fear of failure from, I don't think I'm a perfectionist but I do know that I don't like to lose or fail. I guess God is trying to teach me to let go in this area of my life. To not be afraid to fail and learn. Cuz it is only in my weakness is He then strong.
I realise that I don't have a strong foundation of 'girlfriends' here... and I really miss that. I mean I do catch up wif my girls when they are back or when they are here...but...its not the same. Is this what growing up is? I feel a little lost and perhaps that is a good thing I don't know...and yea I guess it's always easy to say oh you can always re-establish your grp of girlies here but it's that years of bond that i share with some of my girls that it's hard to re-establish. Ppl talk bout their JC or Pri school mates and meeting up with them seeing how e'one is doing...but it's that history that I don't have. Or with the girls htat i do well they are not here. Maybe I duno what I'm rambling on about...guess all these thoughts are jz random....havent really put them into coherent strings.
that's enuf thinking for today....
Today will be my second last day here as after tomorrow, I will no longer need to step foot into raffles place...unless...im there to meet someone hehe..guess yea this is the end of my chapter here and as i sent out the email to let some of my colleagues and managers know that my last day will be on Friday, some replied with the most sincere of thanks and well wishes. It really touched my heart as I didnt know I was actually appreciate, that ppl like Managers appreciated my help. Perhaps it might be my jaded view of ppl here in general but I suppose it is only when one is leaving then others will speak up to say 'thanks'. Ironic isnt it, that we humans only learn to appreciate what we have only when it's gone. I wonder when will we ever learn...
Entering into a new phase of my working life is a little scary as I have come realise that i'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid to fail...but what Dr Joyce said on sunday made me realise that God loves me...no matter whether i'm a failure or not. And I must know Who I AM in Christ so that even when i do fail...I KNOW that i'm NOT a failure. I don't really know where I get this fear of failure from, I don't think I'm a perfectionist but I do know that I don't like to lose or fail. I guess God is trying to teach me to let go in this area of my life. To not be afraid to fail and learn. Cuz it is only in my weakness is He then strong.
I realise that I don't have a strong foundation of 'girlfriends' here... and I really miss that. I mean I do catch up wif my girls when they are back or when they are here...but...its not the same. Is this what growing up is? I feel a little lost and perhaps that is a good thing I don't know...and yea I guess it's always easy to say oh you can always re-establish your grp of girlies here but it's that years of bond that i share with some of my girls that it's hard to re-establish. Ppl talk bout their JC or Pri school mates and meeting up with them seeing how e'one is doing...but it's that history that I don't have. Or with the girls htat i do well they are not here. Maybe I duno what I'm rambling on about...guess all these thoughts are jz random....havent really put them into coherent strings.
that's enuf thinking for today....
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