My JoURnEY.......

came to a realisation the other day....
when 'bad' things happen to us for
watever reason it may have happend or
why it had happen if its to do wif our parents
our frens or our partners...that really everything
just comes down to our attitude. in how we deal
wif issues, do we throw a tantrum and expect
everything to be fine after that or do we take the
positive side adn think well wat can i learn from this
and wat am i really focusing on...that's something
i;ve come to realise after looking within myself and
questioning why do i feel the way i do?? my lack
of ability to trust someone or anyone for that matter
had really boiled down to my parents and it wasnt
til the other day where i completely lost it in front
of a particular fren of mine which im truly sorry kel for
putting you through that im sure you could have had a
better nite...but i did realise after that i was focusing
on the wrong thing and why..well i guess bcuz i had the wrong
attitude the whole time...i wasnt thinking positively or
focusing on HIm and well i realised thats something i
really have to change...so i;ve decided that my new
year resolution is that..to change and be a better person
for it...i had to believe that someday the love i always thot
and dreamt about is possible and that someone whom i
can trust completely and utterly will be found. i had to
believe that otherwise my existence on this world would
be pretty mundane if i didnt have absolute faith in my Lord
that he will provide for me and that He will only provide the
best for me.."Ask and you shall receive.." so that was my
prayer request and will prob be my prayer request for a long
time to come...

well...rite now im suffering from a bout of insomnia
hence im writing on my blog at 3 in the morning...
but anyway i had a rather uneventful week other than
the australia day skyshow which completely blew me
away..it was fantastic...truly but i realised it is one of
those events where it is perfect for u to be wif ur
significant other..not that u cant enjoy it wif ur frens but
the atmosphere and everything ....truly romantic..beyond
words...anyway i wasnt that lucky to be sharing that moment
wif someone special. the person i did want to share tt wif
wasnt even there but i still enjoyed the skyshow...:)

but im beginning to feel rather pathetic actually just bout my
general existence i think...i know that sounds so lame...when i
wrote that i knew it was rather lame but anyway...sadly to
say i guess i really wanted to feel something deep within me
that would ignite me..im not sure if im making any sense but
really i guess im running a little low on fuel...if u cld call it tat..
but i duno why...i guess im just tired...mentally, physically,
spiritually...everything..i really need a break but not entirely
sure how to get it..i know im only 21 and basically not suppose
to have all this baggage and wat not but really i do feel like im
31 rather than21. i guess for me i feel life has been too long for
me or at least tts how i feel...but i guess ijust have to accept
it and deal wif this life the best way i noe how...

anyway im actually getting kinda tired now if u can believe it...
so i shall attempt to sleep hehehe....