My JoURnEY.......

well...nothing much has changed recently....dun really like wat im feeling....n dun particularly feel the need to dwell in self-pity either cuz think thats just pointless n useless. Try to tink positively too but these days its getting hard ....harder n harder. It's also getting harder to trust. To trust ppl n feel like im not sure if it's me or them u kno. Im not one of those ppl who like to blame others for my faults but rather wana know what it is i've done wrong and try n change it. But i guess it's hard when u dun even really know what it is u've supposedly done wrong. With all of this there's a common factor n that common factor is me. So i guess the natural assumption would be to say the problem lies within me. As sad as that is i guess it must be true. I guess im not good for anyone ...not good for anyone rite now....not good company either im sure. So i decided to stay away, from ppl, my frens. I dun wan to drag them down with me. Please dun feel sorry for me or pity cuz thats probably the last thing i need rite now....im not even entirely sure i kno what it is i need...to be away i guess wld be good....but rite now thats hard to do. Im so sorry if i've been distant or haven't really been there for u guys....but i guess like my fren once said to me, 'sometimes when u give give give....u become an empty barrel n there's nothing left to give.' I guess in a way i need to recharge the batteries or sumthing...i duno. All i know rite now is this, I love God very much...the way i feel has nothing to do with my desire for Him but rather more of a result of i duno....just not being able to deal with ppl rite now...not in a large grp esp. It was hard enuf gg to a b'day gathering....but went anywayz. Realised i cant really be in a grp...dun really wana pretend nor act like e'thing is fine when its not. It takes too much effort ...anywaz...thats enuf self-depreciation for one nite.
ciao e'one...n do take care...take care of one another :)