Sunday, March 09, 2003
well... the weekend is finally over...which
means..enroute is over too...but it was a
great success!!!! i mean we had so many ppl
come it was so good to see all these new
students...and some looking for a church
while others just wanted to get to know
freo a lot better :) but overall i am glad tt
i was part of this amazing team of ppl whose
heart was for our Lord and in serving Him..i
just feel very privillege that yes i was involve
n it has taught me a lot bout myself ...n others.
the past couple of days has been good for me..i
guess simply bcuz i just feel good about being
in the presence of God...i was just at Mr Pang's
house wif andy, and diana...we just had a mini
worship session amongst ourselves n it was just
so awesome...even thou there was only the 4 of us
it was just the fact that we cld b together to worship
Him that makes it all so good. and to just dwell
in His presence. we are now kinda of trying to
make this a regular thing amongst the campus
members...i just hope that there are ppl who hunger
for the Lord and would just like to come together
to worship Him. that is truly an amazing gift that
our Lord has given us.
to my dear friend...im not sure if wat u wrote on ur
blog was for me but if it was i thank u for ur advice
n ur encouragement. and ur right i was very angry
at him...why wouldnt i. but i guess it all passes in
time but i guess the thing is i just duno wen. i dun
want it to consume me either cuz i wouldnt be me
then. but im trying not to think of him as any lesser
than me cuz ur right we are all created by the same
God but u see, its hard for me cuz wen i do see him
all it reminds me of is pain and i just dun see why
i need to put myself thru that kind of pain ...and i duno
i guess maybe i am immature or maybe that my life has
taught me that sometimes certain frenships are just
not worth having. im not saying tts wat this is but i
dun see the value of it right now cuz truthfully...all he
has brought to my life is pain and a lot of tears. there
hasnt been a prolong period of happiness for me to reflect
upon n that is truly sad. but i want a better life for
myself...a life where i just wan to be happy and not be
brought down my fear, heartache and tears. im not
saying that i neva wan to talk to him or be frens wif him
but u kno if he is as sorry as u say he is...well i duno
know it bcuz he has neva actually said it to me. n u kno
wat maybe he needs to first before this can get any better.
he may feel sorry but u kno wat ....this is the truth...he knew
wat i wen thru..n he also knew how hard it was for me
to trust someone...i had denied myself of that a long time
ago but i took a chance...a risk..n he knew tt...but tt didnt
seem to have stopped him. n the thing is i just duno how
to get past that....the truth is..i just duno how to trust him.
trust anything that he will eva have to say to me....the trust
is broken between us...n until he wans to work on repairing
it then i guess theres not much for us to say. im sorry but tts
how i feel bout it now...maybe in time...but i guess i duno wen
but thats how it is now. but my dear fren thank u for ur words..
it meant a lot to me...may God keep u safe and well...
means..enroute is over too...but it was a
great success!!!! i mean we had so many ppl
come it was so good to see all these new
students...and some looking for a church
while others just wanted to get to know
freo a lot better :) but overall i am glad tt
i was part of this amazing team of ppl whose
heart was for our Lord and in serving Him..i
just feel very privillege that yes i was involve
n it has taught me a lot bout myself ...n others.
the past couple of days has been good for me..i
guess simply bcuz i just feel good about being
in the presence of God...i was just at Mr Pang's
house wif andy, and diana...we just had a mini
worship session amongst ourselves n it was just
so awesome...even thou there was only the 4 of us
it was just the fact that we cld b together to worship
Him that makes it all so good. and to just dwell
in His presence. we are now kinda of trying to
make this a regular thing amongst the campus
members...i just hope that there are ppl who hunger
for the Lord and would just like to come together
to worship Him. that is truly an amazing gift that
our Lord has given us.
to my dear friend...im not sure if wat u wrote on ur
blog was for me but if it was i thank u for ur advice
n ur encouragement. and ur right i was very angry
at him...why wouldnt i. but i guess it all passes in
time but i guess the thing is i just duno wen. i dun
want it to consume me either cuz i wouldnt be me
then. but im trying not to think of him as any lesser
than me cuz ur right we are all created by the same
God but u see, its hard for me cuz wen i do see him
all it reminds me of is pain and i just dun see why
i need to put myself thru that kind of pain ...and i duno
i guess maybe i am immature or maybe that my life has
taught me that sometimes certain frenships are just
not worth having. im not saying tts wat this is but i
dun see the value of it right now cuz truthfully...all he
has brought to my life is pain and a lot of tears. there
hasnt been a prolong period of happiness for me to reflect
upon n that is truly sad. but i want a better life for
myself...a life where i just wan to be happy and not be
brought down my fear, heartache and tears. im not
saying that i neva wan to talk to him or be frens wif him
but u kno if he is as sorry as u say he is...well i duno
know it bcuz he has neva actually said it to me. n u kno
wat maybe he needs to first before this can get any better.
he may feel sorry but u kno wat ....this is the truth...he knew
wat i wen thru..n he also knew how hard it was for me
to trust someone...i had denied myself of that a long time
ago but i took a chance...a risk..n he knew tt...but tt didnt
seem to have stopped him. n the thing is i just duno how
to get past that....the truth is..i just duno how to trust him.
trust anything that he will eva have to say to me....the trust
is broken between us...n until he wans to work on repairing
it then i guess theres not much for us to say. im sorry but tts
how i feel bout it now...maybe in time...but i guess i duno wen
but thats how it is now. but my dear fren thank u for ur words..
it meant a lot to me...may God keep u safe and well...
"