Sunday, March 02, 2003
well this darn stupid blog thing is
seriously getting to me...man i've been
trying to put up a post for the past 4 days
and it just refuses to post it up..i bet u this
prob wont work either but im gg to try
anyway...i guess i have no idea wat i
sed bcuz i deleted the previous blog..cuz
it simply refuses to post..i swear if this goes
up ....im taking it as a sign that wat i wrote
in the previous blog wasnt meant to go up...
dang!!!!
so anyway....for my galfrens who do read my
blog....well let me just say...the past week
hasnt been the easiest for me...sadly. im
slowly recovering...but its damm slow....
anyhow....umm...most of my frens know wat
im gg thru right now so i wont waste space here
going thru it but i just wan to say thanks for ur
support and for ur listening ears....it has really
meant a lot to me that u guys were there for me
wen i needed u....and sorry for the muffles and
buffles where im sure u were having trouble trying
to understand wat im saying....hehehe but im sure
u understand. anyway...most of these days im
just taking one day at a time and trying to remember
to breathe..tend to forget...i know ur all thinking..
but its an involuntary action...wel trust me i've been
known to actually stop ...but all i know is this
all this pain and tears cant be for nothing...God wouldnt'
make me go thru this for nothing... ihave to believe that
bcuz i cant believe that our great and amazing God will
put me thru all of this for nothing.
u kno the funniest thing is this...most of the time...they
(guys)never think they actually did anything wrong...how
is that?? one of my good fren used the analogy of a
hit and run driver...and she's absolutely right...its like
hitting someone down but saying oops did i do that??
well yeah u did...but its like all accountability is gone
and i just wonder don they realise or see that every
action there is a reaction...and consequences...it
doesnt matter and it doesnt justify that if wat u were
doing at the time is how u felt bcuz...u have to realise
that wat u do will always have a consequence whether
u wan it to or not....anyway..its not relevant now anymore.
frankly these days i have very little energy to care...i
duno why...perhaps im just tired i duno....
iknow now that my tears were for an unworhty person...
and i have been the fool....and unfortunatley the
realisaiton came at a cost....my heart... i keep telling
myself i've been through worse than this...that if i have
survive the others..i can survive this...but u kno wat...
im actually tired of telling myself this...it wld be nice for
once to not have to tell myself this...anyway its prob my
wishful thinking anyway....well....i suppose like they say
time heals all wound...blah blah blah...and its a nice notion
but u know wen ur in the deep throttle of it...it sure doesnt
feel like it...but the only thing i know right now tht i can do
is to take it one day at a time...i cant look any further cuz
i just cant.
p.s. i hope this thing goes up otherwise im gg to just neva
blog again...
seriously getting to me...man i've been
trying to put up a post for the past 4 days
and it just refuses to post it up..i bet u this
prob wont work either but im gg to try
anyway...i guess i have no idea wat i
sed bcuz i deleted the previous blog..cuz
it simply refuses to post..i swear if this goes
up ....im taking it as a sign that wat i wrote
in the previous blog wasnt meant to go up...
dang!!!!
so anyway....for my galfrens who do read my
blog....well let me just say...the past week
hasnt been the easiest for me...sadly. im
slowly recovering...but its damm slow....
anyhow....umm...most of my frens know wat
im gg thru right now so i wont waste space here
going thru it but i just wan to say thanks for ur
support and for ur listening ears....it has really
meant a lot to me that u guys were there for me
wen i needed u....and sorry for the muffles and
buffles where im sure u were having trouble trying
to understand wat im saying....hehehe but im sure
u understand. anyway...most of these days im
just taking one day at a time and trying to remember
to breathe..tend to forget...i know ur all thinking..
but its an involuntary action...wel trust me i've been
known to actually stop ...but all i know is this
all this pain and tears cant be for nothing...God wouldnt'
make me go thru this for nothing... ihave to believe that
bcuz i cant believe that our great and amazing God will
put me thru all of this for nothing.
u kno the funniest thing is this...most of the time...they
(guys)never think they actually did anything wrong...how
is that?? one of my good fren used the analogy of a
hit and run driver...and she's absolutely right...its like
hitting someone down but saying oops did i do that??
well yeah u did...but its like all accountability is gone
and i just wonder don they realise or see that every
action there is a reaction...and consequences...it
doesnt matter and it doesnt justify that if wat u were
doing at the time is how u felt bcuz...u have to realise
that wat u do will always have a consequence whether
u wan it to or not....anyway..its not relevant now anymore.
frankly these days i have very little energy to care...i
duno why...perhaps im just tired i duno....
iknow now that my tears were for an unworhty person...
and i have been the fool....and unfortunatley the
realisaiton came at a cost....my heart... i keep telling
myself i've been through worse than this...that if i have
survive the others..i can survive this...but u kno wat...
im actually tired of telling myself this...it wld be nice for
once to not have to tell myself this...anyway its prob my
wishful thinking anyway....well....i suppose like they say
time heals all wound...blah blah blah...and its a nice notion
but u know wen ur in the deep throttle of it...it sure doesnt
feel like it...but the only thing i know right now tht i can do
is to take it one day at a time...i cant look any further cuz
i just cant.
p.s. i hope this thing goes up otherwise im gg to just neva
blog again...
"