My JoURnEY.......

dear all,...well it is now almost 19th
in bout 15 mins basically its drawing
quite close to 22nd huh....although im
turning 21, which i suppose is a big
'milestone' apparently, i cant say im
particularly excited about it...dun really
know why....sadly. i guess it holds little
value to me at the moment...and frankly i
cant seem to bring myself to be excited
about it. right now it feels more of a
hassle than anything else which i know
is wrong way of looking at it but well....tats
how i feel so...but maybe i mite get excited
closer to the day...actualy i dun think so ha...
will be spending my birthday at church in a
meeting so not sure how exciting that can be!!
i duno maybe im just not feeling so great about
getting older...haha..actualy nah thats not it either
so im not too sure wat it is huh...and u noe it
doesnt help wen the frens u ask to do a speech
on ur behalf kinda says no. i mean ok yeah
no one actually likes to go on infront a group of
ppl and talk..believe me neither do i but this isnt
just any speech its my 21st. and if i hadnt consider
them good frens or close frens i guess i wouldnt have
asked them in the first place. and frankly i've never
come across knowing anyone who's said no to
someone approaching them bout speaking at a 21st.
anyway ...tats just my opinion...not that im sure it
counts for much. ok at this point ur all probably
thinking man she sounds so whiny etc, etc and
just forget about it if they don want to do it and i
guess i have but well its not easy and its not the
nicest feeling in the world huh...maybe im just
tired .....maybe this is one of those days where
im just wallowing in self-pity so my frens wen u
read this i do apologise for this crappy entry...
*sigh*...okay well thats enough self-depreciation
for today. nite all...