My JoURnEY.......

hey there....well today has been a day of self-
reflection or rather a realisation....all my life
i believe in having the kind of luve that u see on
the movie screen and perhaps something close to
it but today i realise thats just not in my cards. all
my life the guys have in some way or another caused
major pains in my life and i was able to get past that
wif God's grace...and i truly believed that wif all that
'experience' i wld be able to avoid it as i should be
able to see it coming rite....WRONG!!!! i;ve recently
been a sucker for another Mr Wrong...how??? u mite
ask i have no idea..but today i came to realise tt he
lied to me too...after all that i;ve told him about my
past wif my ex and previous guys...even my own
dad...he still manage to hurt me...incredible isnt it??
i find it so...i mean i truly believed that he was different
that if he understood my past my background..he wouldn't
hurt me but i guess i was dead wrong. the only truly sad
part about all of this is i really believed in him...duno why
now but i did...and he has just disappointed me time and
time again...i have cried over this person way too many
times and frens have told me he is unworthy of my tears..
despite that however..my tears just keep flowing...although
it may not be apparent on my face but believe me my heart
is still crying....

i wish things didnt have to go so sour u kno...if only he knew
wat he wanted...but i guess do men ever know wat they wan???
guess not...but i truly felt something for him...really more than
i've ever had for anyone in a long long long time...i gues before
him i was too scared to let anyone close to my heart esp after
wat my ex did....i guess i refuse to...even guys who try to get
close to me eventually i would shut the door on them....but wif
him...i believed him wen he said all the things tht he said...but
it was foolish of me to believe him...i guess thats my lesson..
i shld not have trusted him...i should have just stuck to wat i did
before and never totally trust a man...he's just bound to break ur
heart anyway..some of u mite think thats just so cynical of me but
life has taught me differently i guess...

anyway tts all im ever gg to tok about this anyway....so all i know
is that it's gg to take a long long time for me to trust him or any guy
for that matter...